unplanned missions
by MsSage
Summary: Cana and Laxus. Cana's super annoyed and Laxus could never leave her alone. T for swearing and implied sex. review. I do not own fairy tail.
1. Chapter 1

**CANA**

How she hated them, yet loved them all at the same time. Cana gazed across the guildhall, eying every would be couple with uncharacteristic envy and disgust etched on her pretty face. From the complexity of the Natsu, Lisanna and Lucy love triangle to the one sided infatuation Juvia felt for her old friend Gray to the rather strange pairing that would be Laki and her father. Even Wendy had a spark of romance, Romeo followed the Sky Dragons movements with the faintest blush across his face. It was utterly adorable, and yet overwhelmingly sickening for the card mage, whom was already feeling a bit queasy from her excessive intake of tequila.

Slamming another shot to the bar she growled in annoyance. Was there anyone in this guild that was a bloody love struck moron?

"Watch that temper there Alberona, Mira'll have your head if you break her precious bar." Laxus slid into the stool next to her, looking fairly amused as she called for another shot. Laxus's range of facial expressions had broadened since his come back to the guild. Cana wasn't sure if there would ever be a time she would get used to adult Laxus grinning. It was simply unnatural.

"Shut up Pikachu!"

"Pika-what?"

Laxus's confused expression made Cana chuckle despite her annoyance. Mavis knows she loved to rile up the Thunder god himself.

"What's wrong, Cana."

 **LAXUS**

Laxus looked at Cana warily, the woman's gaze had been laced with uncharacteristic malice since the day had started. There was a time when this would not have concerned him, but now he was on a better path and he couldn't justify being ignorant. After all, the loons in this guild would never notice anything amiss until Cana's explosive temper wreaked havoc upon the guild. While it no doubt would have been the bar fight of the week, knowing Cana's temper and the fact that she was the sole wielder of Fairy Glitter, the guild hall would not survive her genuine fury unleashed.

"It's nothing", she slurred, hopping of the stool with surprising grace for one so clearly inebriated and marching straight out the door. Groaning, Laxus made to follow the Brunette, knowing full well that he'd never been able to leave her alone.

"Tell me!" He grabbed her by the wrist and spun her to face him.

"Fuck off Sparky!" She slapped him, not hard, but hell it was loud.

"Alberona, I am warning you…" He gripped her tighter. She was not running from this.

"WHAT ON EARTHLAND IS WRONG WITH YOU DISGUSTING LOVE SICK MORONS?" Laxus stared at her in shock. Okay, he'd noticed that certain obvious pairings had grown closer lately. However hardly anyone, save Al and Bisca were official, which was to be expected with a kid and all.

"Love sick? Cana? Are you okay?"

"NO, I AM NOT OKAY YOU STUPID SPARK PLUG!" She punched him in the face. It didn't hurt. But she punched him in the FUCKING FACE.

"Dammit Alberona, you're crazy. Just let them be happy. Mavis knows they all deserve it." Laxus was trying very hard at this point not to get angry and he hoped she'd see sense despite knowing that was a slim chance. To his surprise she stopped yelling, and instead her face turned blank and she gazed at him.

"And I don't …" There was something in her eyes that was missing. Their usual sparkle wasn't there. It terrified him for a moment. He hadn't seen her look this dead since she lost her first S class trails in a battle round to him and that had been a moment that had haunted him much of his teenage years. Laxus refused to let this be another.

"Cana, the right guy-" he looked at her cryptically for a second, "-or girl will come. You'll find someone you genuinely like." He looked at her, from head to toe Cana was indeed one of the guilds beauties. How could someone so stunning and powerful be insecure?

"Someone I genuinely like? Laxus, if you make a flow chart of the idiots I've been infatuated with, you'll get a graphical representation of my mental instability."

Laxus stared at her in wonder at her statement wracking his brain for her past commitments.

Gray, the cold hearted stripper ice mage was probably her first boyfriend. However, one could hardly judge the her so harshly for dating a juvenile stripper, youngsters make mistakes. Macao, that asshole had used her after his divorce for many years. The divorcee was a proper pervert and old enough to have fathered Cana, the fifteen-year-old card mage, admittedly he'd have been young but the point still stood. However, she had been young and foolish then.

He'd always suspected Cana had definitely had something going on with the water mage at some point, but couldn't be too certain. Juvia was always openly stalking Gray and had probably only been a fairly consistent hook up at Fairly Hills since Lucy was off in her apartment, effectively off limits to the card mage.

Speaking of hook ups, he'd once caught the unsuspecting Cana and Gajeel making out while Levy was on a mission in the broom closet once but anyone could see that Gajeel was so hell bent on denying himself to Levy, he was being an utter asshole to everyone, including a drunken mage looking for some loving. Finally, after the games she'd fallen for Bacchus the drunken falcon, who'd promptly cheated on her during some wild party at Mermaid Heel.

Cana Alberona was an absolute idiot.

"The stripper, the paedophile, the stalker, the asshole and the drunk right?" He joked lightly pulling the foolish woman into a light hug, meaning no real offense to his nakama. He was pleasantly surprised she'd not put up a fight at his advance.

"You forgot the demon." She rested her chin on his chest gazing up at him with those deceptively innocent sapphire eyes he loved so much. He would've realised the position they were in, had she not dropped that particular bomb on him.

"WHAT?! Mira? Shit." She grinned cheekily at his reaction, looking like her usual self, but offered no further explanation to her claims. However, Laxus knew, Cana Alberona told no lies.

"Sorry about that by the way. Knew you liked her." Her apology was remarkably sincere, considering this was Cana.

"No. She was never the same after what happened to Lisanna. Plus, that was long ago Cana." He remembered those days, Mira and him had been pretty low key about their youthful affections back then, but he wasn't surprised Cana knew. She'd been his best friend back then, way before Ever, Freed or Bickslow had even looked his way.

"Oh." She spoke softly still gazing at him. Laxus was suddenly uncomfortably aware that she was still in his arms.

"Cana?"

"Yeah Laxus?"

"How about I take you on a mission. It'll cheer you up and distract you." All at once Laxus knew he'd said the right thing as she left his arms and promptly high fived him.

"Yeah, S class missions with Sparky! I get to pick!" She gripped his arm pulling him to the guild. A sense of Deja vu settled upon Laxus as her remembered taking her out on her first mission years ago.

" _C'mon kid, don't be so down. I'll take you on a mission."_

" _For real Laxus? Can I pick?"_

" _Next time, kid. We got to settle all Fairy Tail's damages at pubs outside the Magnolia for gramps. He won't send anyone older coz they'll destroy the place or get drunk. If you good I'll give you a sip of wine or something though"_

" _Eww gross. Alchohol stinks Laxus! Why'd you take such a lame job."_

In hindsight, he was probably the reason Cana had started to drink. That had been the only mission he'd taken her on, but it had been her first. Laxus couldn't believe he was finally fulfilling his promise to let her pick. He followed the card mage as she stormed towards the bar in excitement.

"Mira! Laxus and I are taking a job! Give me an S class mission!" Mira eyed Cana's grip on Laxus with amusement he knew to fear. When Cana finally released with promises to quickly grab a few things from home, Mira pounced.

"So, Cana hey? About time you made a move."

"This is not what you thinking demon."

"She's brilliant in bed. Sure knows how to handle an S class mage I'll tell you that."

"Mirajane! Gildartz, is right here!"

His silver haired ex chuckled at him, before giving him a stern look.

"Do you like her?"

"I don't know." He was honest at least. Demon could and would skin him alive if he lied.

"If you don't, this is the last mission I'll give you two Laxus. She loves you even if she doesn't know it yet. I think you love her too."

"Huh?"

But then Cana was back, Gildartz in tow and Laxus turned his attention away from the barmaid's ridiculous claims to address the bickering pair in front of him.

After all, he was not Cana's type.

 **AN something random. Not really sure where this is going. Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**LAXUS**

He was already regretting his decision as he turned away from Mira's gaze. Scowling at the father daughter pair in front of him, it took Laxus all his new found patience not to raise his voice at their antics. It was one mission for Mavis's sake. Where was all this drama coming from? Even the Raijinshuu weren't this theatrical on their worst days. Don't get him wrong, he adored the trio but they really were creative when it came to pushing his limits. Freed, Evergreen and Bickslow simply were not capable of any self-restraint in matters concerning him or his well being.

"And what, exactly, is the problem here?"

"You'll take advantage of my Cana! I'll kill you!"

"Glidartz! I'll be perfectly fine, you old geezer! This is Laxus we talking about."

"WHAT?"

Laxus stared dumbfoundedly at the senior mage who was clearly all riled up and ready to fight. Now Laxus wasn't one to shy from any given fight, but one does not simply 'walk' away from Gildartz Clive's wrath. The only way to prevent imminent death and destruction was to redirect Gildartz fury.

He glanced at Cana almost guiltily, and she caught his gaze, narrowing her midnight blue orbs at him in warning, guessing the gist of his plan.

"Sparky…."

 **CANA**

She saw it coming before he even dropped the bomb that with throw her father's existence into disarray.

"How can you talk to me old man? I ain't even touched your little girl once, unlike the others!"

"Laxus!" Cana protested, but already preparing herself to sprint out the guild before her father blew up the guild literally. She herself looked at Laxus and Gildartz in concern. The guild was dead silent, Cana had certainly been promiscuous and Laxus's revelation would certainly result in a few members demise.

"Name them." Gildartz had his hand on Laxus's neck, while the guild held silence in deadly anticipation.

"Grey Fullbuster," immediate wails of 'love rival' could be heard as Grey stood deadly still, waiting for his untimely end.

"Juvia Lokser", the wails promptly stopped.

"Macao Conbolt", who fainted in response.

"Gajeel Redfox", which left a tearful Levy running from the guild as Gajeel fell of his stool.

"Mirajane Strauss" the barmaid shot Laxus a sweet look, but her eyes promised vengeance as she took her Sitiri form.

"Bacchus Groh" Confusion struck Gildartz for a moment as he mulled over the unfamiliar name. However once the association of the name to the incident of Cana's top being taken as a trophy became clear the fury radiating of Gildartz was already inevitably going to blow up. Gildartz slowly began to turn himself hands still at Laxus's neck, almost theatrically in a way towards the guilty guild members.

Sensing the situation already at a loss, Cana pulled out her cards, ready to do the unimaginable. With the flick of a well-trained wrist, Cana Alberona landed the first strike on the legendary, yet unsuspecting, Gildartz Clive.

 **LAXUS**

He barely felt Cana's lightning attack, but it clearly stunned Gildartz into letting go as the guild erupted in full out Fairy style around him. Laxus staggered back out of Gildartz range and ducked Natsu's surprise attack. Bisca had already left, her husband and daughter in tow, her mother's intuition seemingly on point that the guild was no place for a toddler right now.

Feeling a tug at his left, he glanced towards Cana making a beeline towards the exit while deftly launching her cards at anyone in her path. Ducking Juvia's water Nebula, a fleeing Wakaba, Bicklows babies and cringing as he stepped over an unconscious Nab, he took off after her. Mavis, the things he did for this woman. Hopefully when they got back there would be no casualties.

He ducked just as Jet and Droy knocked over Erza's cake and offered condolences to Levy in his head for her fallen friends.

"Dammit Cana! You are a raving lunatic!"

The guild erupted with violence behind him as Gray sent shards of ice towards a prepared Gildartz, who dodged only to leave Sitiri Mira in its path clutching an almost dead Max while Vjiter wept in terror nearby grabbing at a visibly annoyed Lisanna for protection. Meanwhile Wakaba was already passed out.

"YOU ARE NO MAN!"

Evergreen promptly stopped her mission to terrorize Loke and Lucy to quickly take out Elfman in true tsundere fashion. Sensing an opportunity, Freed contained the three in a rune trap only to be attacked by Pantherlily.

Laxus's raced passed Happy, cowering behind Charla and was relieved to see that Romeo, Wendy and Kinana were hiding behind the bar, protected by Laki, who in Laxus's opinion was a menace in her own right. Nearby Gajeel had taken his shadow form, clearly ready to join the fight.

He barely heard the wails of Macao as Gildartz bellowed profanities after him. Dodging a napping Reedus and exiting the guild he found a relaxed Cana sitting on the wall.

"What took you so long spark plug?"

 **CANA**

'' In case you hadn't noticed, your father was trying to kill me."

Laxus was not clearly not amused as he trudged off towards his apartment, although it didn't deter her. Cana trailed after him, knowing full well that nobody was going to escape the guild any time soon. Although she'd never been to his place, she knew Laxus lived a short distance from the Strauss siblings, her time with Mira being filled with much gossip about the blond.

"I can't believe you did that. We'll be lucky if there's a still a Fairy Tail left to get back to. "

"Well we will see about that when we get back." Laxus let them into his apartment building, quite a fancy looking place. As they passed through the lobby and entered the elevator, Cana surveyed the sleek appearance of the place. Who would know the thunder god appreciated the finer things in life? Yet, it seemed the surprises were still to come.

Cana was awestruck upon entry to the apartment.

Lavish didn't even begin to cover it. Despite being a true bachelor pad it was the kind of place you'd see in 'Sorcery weekly'. Sleek furniture, an elegant earth tone pallet for décor and a luxurious fur rug rested upon the floor. The place was open plan with a kitchen leading straight into an entertainment area. But the star of the show was a modernistic personal bar with a glass cabinets holding a variety of the rarest liquor in Foire.

"Alberona? You still here"

"How much?"

"What?"

"This place Laxus! It's amazing!"

 **LAXUS**

While Cana spent an absurd amount of time fan girling about his apartment, Laxus set of to do his packing. A mere glance at the quest confirmed his suspicion that they'd be journeying outside of Foire and heading through some serious desert terrain. He packed lightly, as he always did, focusing on essentials like water and a first aid kit. The mission seemed simple enough, investigate a kidnapping, but he knew that S Class missions were often deceptive in their advertising. The amount of jewels was the only clear indication towards the mission's difficulty, and he knew that it wasn't going be as simple as it seemed.

Sadly he'd have to abandon his fur coat for now, it would do him no good in the desert. Slipping on a t-shirt and slinging a bag on his shoulder, he shouted to Cana to follow him as he made his way to Magnolia station. They'd be okay he mused.

"Sparky! Wait up! I'm not done with this bar dammit!"

After all, he was the thunder god Laxus Dreyer, and she was Cana Alberona the daughter of Glidartz Clive.

What could go wrong?

[ **A/N: After some great reviews and messages I've decided to give unplanned missions a chance. Not sure how often there will be updates but please follow if you're interested. As always read & review.]**


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